Suicidal Thought?

I am not the kind of girl that ever think of suicide. Seriously never. Although a Muslim is forbidden from such action, I always have my own right and wrong sense and suicide is one of them. I have watch a japanese drama and one of the character is said to be prone of Arthos.. the god of suicide. This Arthos thing is freaking me out. There is no way in hell that anybody will be attracted to this creature. It is self destructed hobby. Even if life is painful and hard, there is way to overcome it. Everything happens for a reason. So, towards anybody that are feeling restless of this life you might as well go make things better and get help or just suck it and live your life to the fullest.

Due

Most people used their blog to express their deepest darkest heartfelt moment using the most f*&%up language that they can ever think of. I am that most people. I don't usually running around cursing every little thing that I could think of but I am at my limit. The stress that build in inside of my liver has finally refuse to stay in any longer. I need to laugh or yell or whatever it takes to make myself a human again. I really need to pass this semester. I want to graduate with all of them. Can't afford to do any mistake. Its torturing me inside. God help me. The list of assignment that we have already submit and will be submitted

1. Sustainable Development in Recyclin

2. Sustainability in Gold Processing Industry

3. Zircon

4. Mini Project of Limestone Quarry

5. Mine and Plan Design

6. Fluids Mechanic

7. FYP Proposal

and many more that I could not think of...

Totally random

Been busy. I know.. I know... Lame excuse.. Just too lazy to sit on my butt except for watching movies. Well then. This post is all about me and my friend shopping for eid. Since the eid sale has already started, we decided to spend a day in Penang to shop our heart out. I haven't been this ecstatic for a very long time (I have mention that I'm super busy right?). We drop at Megamall Penang before continue our SHOpping Quest in Queensbay Mall because Dunt have to buy a charger for his new phone (I'm green with envy..been dreaming to have a touch-pad phone since forever). After we girls have finish giggling and mooning over a very gorgeous shawl. We decided to buy not one but 4shawl altogether (GIRLS!!). After the boys finish their so called business they have to beg us to stop and proceed to our planned trip. Then, we go to the bus station because somebody have to buy JEruk for his family, and he bought rm30 worth of jeruk. Yes.. thats right., insane.. Deela, Mat Yus and ME are having fun in the car singing our lung out while waiting for the jeruk guy to satisfied with his jeruk shopping spree. And finally, we take our cruise(actually an old ferry..dont want to stain my memories) to go to the Queensbay Mall. Heaven falls here. We arrive at Queensbay just in time to break our fast. Mat yus paid for our dorayaki and we go to the stairs to break our fast. We have to save our stomach for sushi later not that we are dieting or something. The sushi king restaurant is crowded with Chinese and Indian. We are the only muslim there. I dont give a damn. I am too hungry and this thing dont bother me. Its halal! the onl thing that matter kan? har har har.. so, after the good money are spent on the food. We head to the clothes level and go nuts. We ended that night with some little action at the themepark that resides nearby the Queensbay. We enjoyed riding the marry go round(kidding), the bumper car and ferris wheel. Yul wants to try the top gun but we prohibit her cause the ride is too dangerous. You will have liver failure once you try that ride. I love her to much to let that happen to her. Deela is also mad with desire to ride on the flying chair. Me and Dunt? We are too delicate for that horror ride. We love ourselves too much. Mat Yus just follow our lead. Obedient man, he is. These are some pictures I snap during the trip. Feast your eyes!!

our very 1st ferry ride

alas perut kot




sushi and shopping.. love to have those again soon...

muddled brain

I still have not decided when am I going to go back to USM. Selinsing geng is going back that weekend for sure. and pingu and ain is also going to report early.. Fariq and jazey is going to take 1 week off and dan is going back on wednesday.. and me?? havent got slightlest idea when.. I want to take at least 2 days off before the new semester start. I am exhausted.. on the 11 of july there will be a kenduri back at home. the aftermath of a kenduri is hell.. I got to do the dishes, scrubbing and cleaning because everybody is going to go back to school. what a mess I am in. the thing is I really need time for myself. call me a shellegg person . I dont really care. This post is supposed to be fun and I end up ranting and raving.

p/s: After all the rants I still have not made up my mind..

AGES REALLY!!!!

It has been ages since my last post... its not that I dont have time to write. but I am too lazy to write. today is the 2nd day of school holiday.. and also the last day I'll be home.. I'll be heading back to Jerteh maybe at 10 which mean I dont have a lot of time lazying around doing nothing. I should at least pack my things ang go take a shower or something. but who cares. I'll take my own sweet time. I actually have nothing to write about other than my stupid Industrial Training story. I am learning a lots of thing at the company I am now and I am supposed to be happy. But the thing is I am sooooo lonely that I am actually talking to the wall. how pathetic is that? huh.. I am a loner??

I better get moving now or else my mom will freak out when she finds out my laundry is still in the machine... Har har...

I 'm working on my Past Tense here..

Har Har Har.. French Orale Production is in the corner.. I'm working hard this past few sem to ruin it.. I have to get A for my French paper. I actually just realize the I have never score A in this paper.. Bangang me I might say.. but I'm trying you see.. lets see my writing in french..

Hier, le jour le plus occupe. Je suis aller a classe a neuf heures du matin jusqu'a a midi. Apre, j'ai eu dejeuner avec mes amis. J'ai mes baigner. Apre ca jai achete un citron. J'ai apporte un citron a laboratoire. Je suis finit ma laboratoire a six heur precise. Apres, je suis aller a Language Faculty pour prendre mes not de francais. Et apres, j'ai eu diner avec mon amie.J'ai ecoutez a musique tan disque j'ai finit ma devoirs. Je ne dormir pas.

For those who can't read it pardon me.. I'm just a beginner. I'm trying to converse fluently but nobody here except for my French teacher can understand me.. Poor me. My brain is severely damage as we speak here. I have not rested well these past few days due to the pile of lab reports and assignment waiting to be done... Lab reports here I come..

ps: please correct my French writing if you have any idea or what so ever I have done wrong.. Thank you

Mom got transfered.. Maybe not the worst case scenario for me but definitely for Acu. Now she got to attend to her nieces and nephew needs too.. har har.. pity her.. Now that I am away, I cant be any help but belive me, as soon as I can take any break from the school I'll come home and be as much help as I can.. I feel guilty because thats my sisters and brother that she needs to take care of. Enough with that story and lets move on to the campus life. It has been hectic since the day I came in from the CNY holiday.. the lab reports, the labs, the assignment that Pak Tuan just assign us with. The busiest week ever but come to think of it, people works best under pressure.. absolutely NO COMPLAINT there... So much to do and so little time...got to go solat and off to the French Class.. AUr Revoir

call me outdated!!

I've just found this website my sister recomended.. and its fun to use..I love to edit picture and and adobe photoshop is just hard to use.. it is not user friendly and hard to explore it by yourself.. I'm addicted you might say.. haha..these are some picture I have edited using picnik.. and I'm pround of it..

I am home!!!!

Now that I'm home I think I miss USM..
I'm BORED..wargh..one of my sister is already off this morning..
I'm disappointed that I missed her.. I've drove fast enough and still don't make it in time..
haha.. Thanks to my grandmother I have already broken all of my backbone helping her clearing all the thick dust in the cellar.. I'm pissed off that I'm arguing with my 3rd sis justnow..
I'm just joking and she doesn't have any humor bone in her body so we end up arguing..
does she need to be that emotional.. taola da breakup... nak marah2 aku knape.. saket2..

Home is where your heart is

This post has nothing to do with usm life at all.
just plain I miss home mode..
I miss my grandma..
some might say im just bluffing.. (sape plak y nak rindu nenek tghari bute camni)
Her tongue was sharp and her words make everybody's heart bleed. She was a tyrant, but she was there. We saw our parents only a few times a year since we were kid but as long as I could remember, wan had always been a part of my life. I believed grandmothers lived forever.
Acu salu ckp 'taola your grandma' since forever and I am really annoyed with her since she practically brought us up. She told us what to do, when to do it and it irritated the hell out of me. I often get beaten and chased around our house for not doing the chores she set us up with. Acu and mak are always there to support wan whenever we get scolded and I used to hate them for that.When I remember the way she treats us now I can smile and said.. that is my grandma.. and I am proud to show all of my friends and says my grandma rocks. If not for her, maybe I am not who I am today. She taught me well.. that old lady.. she taught us how fold the shirts, how to sweep the floor and even how to leave your laundry in the washing machine. She taught us to be a human thats the right words.. .She was eccentric, sharp-tongued and sometimes a tyrant, but she never let me forget what was really importan

LonEliness

how hard must it be?
to raise 7kids without your husband help...
without your husband support..
I might say it is impossible to complete the task..
as a mother..
her tiny body is weak from diabetes..
she just goes on without a single glance to what anybody might say from her failed marriage..
she just endured the pain alone..
and now she lives alone with her youngest son..
maybe not alone..
all of her daughters are away at the moment..
furthering their studies in boarding school
her eldest is in penang( usm) 8hours from her hometown and
her 2nd born is thousand miles away from home furthering her studies in TESL
her 3rd daughter, the crybaby is now in shah alam preparing for the overseas study program in pharmacy
the 4th daughter 5hours drive from home and now is facing SPM in MRSM jasin..
her 5th and 6th daughter are also away in boarding school now studying hard for the sake of their beloved mother.
yang tinggal??
her only son.. the youngest.. in 4th grade in primary school..
some might say.. "senang la kak ani ramai anak perempuan kat rumah x sunyi"
but the truth is she misses her daughter a lot..
she is alone..
I love u mom.. I'll try my best to not dissapoint you in my studies...
I know u r worried about me..
but i can take care of myself..
u can rest peacefully knowing that your eldest is struggling with her study..
someday.. we will be together again..
we will somehow survive this cruel world.. its us against the world!!